Wednesday 20 September 2017

If music be the food of love, play on.


The health food craze continues unabated. And yet no one ever sings its praises.

Except for Helloooo Newman.

KELP! (sung to the tune HELP!, by The Beatles)

KELP! I need some salad
KELP! I'm looking awfully pallid
KELP! You know I need some veg
K-E-L-P!

When I was younger and I ate some KFC
I dry heaved bones and then I ate some Harvey's
And now my arteries are clogged and I know the cause
I have a call to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz

Kelp me if you can I'm Krispy Kremeing
And I'm watching lots of food porn, live streaming
Kelp my colon please it needs some cleaning
Won't you please, please kelp me
Kelp me, kelp me-ee-ee, ooooh


ps: if you have trouble matching words to music, call me and I'll sing it to you.