Thursday 22 June 2017

Hammerheads


What about those hammerhead sharks. Was evolution on mat leave when they were created?

I know that eyes really close together denotes lack of intelligence, and looks weird, but this is outlandish. By the time the hammerhead's brain realizes its eyes saw dinner, that dinner is a frozen fish stick in your freezer.

That's probably why a hammerhead has never been observed reading. When it reads, it stores the words in its eyes, swims around, and then when the words reach the brain a few months later, it says, "Wow, that was a great book. Maybe it deserves a second read."

I'm trying to imagine what a hammerhead does when his eyesight goes. What kind of frames would it choose? Ugly frames. I'm guessing bifocals are the way to go.

At some point, the hammerhead scolded evolution, "Listen, if you can't make us look like a regular shark, maybe it's time we die out. Please, kill us off before you make our head longer."

Imagine being a shark born to look like Marty Feldman. Not pleasant.