Sunday 9 April 2017

Intellectsity



Obesity, the act of being overfed, is no longer the number one societal scourge.

In the Trumpited States of Amarica, a new and dangerous phenomenon has taken hold.

More and more people are…overread.

Being overread means that you have been reading way too much stuff. Junky stuff like novels, articles, political analysis, science, history etc – information that can help you live a more useful life, or discover something real about the world.

Similar to shoving cinnabon after cinnabon down your piehole leading to obesity, pouring information down your brainhole leads to Intellectsity. You are grossly overknowledgable.

With this disease, and it is a disease, your head expands and becomes so heavy, you drag it across the ground.

Your hat size becomes XXXXXX large. You look gross in glasses. People will stare at you on the beach as you wantonly stuff your brain with more knowledge. On an airplane, your head oozes over into your neighbours seat.

You have to buy a new house because you are just too smart for the rooms.

In its worst form, this disease leads to infobetes, and your body can no longer process factual knowledge properly. You go into shock every time someone discusses a serious issue, and you need to listen to talk radio to normalize your IQ level.

If you are overread, please stop. It's killing you.

Stop reading this blog!