Friday 2 September 2016

Milf York





New York? New Delhi? New Zealand? New Guinea? New Orleans?

The list goes on.

These places aren't exactly new anymore. Isn't it time we dropped the New?

But they're not exactly old either. Not in the sense of the Mayan civilization or the cave paintings recently found in France that are carbon dated to 30,000 years old.

These places are in their "midlife".

Kind of awkward – Midlife York? Doesn't exactly inspire a great song, now does it?

We at Helloooo Newman hired a professional wordsmith (named Smith) to parse the word "midlife" into something that is, shall we say, sexier.

Carefully omitting unnecessary letters from "midlife", Smith developed a word that is much more appropriate.

Now we have: Milf York

Much better, isn't it?

Milf Zealand

Milf Guinea

Milf Delhi (note to self: try the corned beef here sometime)

Newfoundland is a special case. It isn't new. Also, it wasn't "found", it was "discovered", just like North America. Columbus, we are told, discovered North America, he didn't find it lying around in the ocean.

So, we have Milfdiscoveredland. And Milfie, instead of Newfie. Not nearly as derogatory.

Another world problem solved by Helloooo Newman.