Friday 29 July 2016

Uber Everywhere

Travis Bickle

Uber Losers: When someone tells you you'll never get anywhere – call me. I'll take you somewhere.

Uber Uber: For Uber drivers who are too tired, drunk or hung over to drive – I'll tow you and your passenger behind my car.

Uber Real Estate: I'll drive the price of your house up.

Uber housewife: Husband not responding to your demands? His holy trinity is the sofa, sports and Sapporo? Call us. I'll drive him crazy with demands.

Uber Parking: Call me, I'll parallel park for you.

Uber Nascar: Relax. I'll pick you up in my car at the beginning of the course and take you right to the end. Oh, it's a Prius, so forget about winning.

Uber Ambulance: A comfortable, roomy ride to the hospital, unencumbered by all that bulky life-saving equipment. Quiet and relaxing, with none of that raucous yelling, like "CLEAR", "I.V., STAT" or "HE'S FLATLINED".

Go on. Get in. You can trust me.