Friday 1 April 2016

Thoughts on Reading



Jesus this book is long. Should I just wait for the movie? Of course, they screwed up Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so you never know.

I wonder who would make a good director. I'd pick Bow Wow.

Why isn't anyone humping in this book?

I'm sleepy. Is it nap time yet? What's that feeling? Oh damn, my crotch is itchy again. Focus, focus.

Shit, where's Chapter 3? Oh ya, I ate it.

Did you hear something? What was that? Is that a raccoon? Whoops, just my stomach growling. I'm sooooo hungry. It's been, like, 7 minutes since they fed me. The spartan life is killing me.

These pillows look so tasty.

Who is this author? Chelsea Handler? I could sure use a chelsea bun.

I refuse to dog-ear these pages. On principle.

I think poodles are the sexiest. Yup, I've decided that.

Mmmm, poodletang.

89 pages and not one squirrel.

That's enough readin' now. Really, I think the back cover explains it all. I'm done.